Weekend Fun

Well We just got back from spending the weekend at Stonewall Resort in West Virginia.We had a great time. I got a lovely massage and we went to a Murder Mystery Dinner. It was so neat. This was the first time that Seth and I had ever been to something like this. Here is how it works. You are in this huge ballroom seated at tables of ten {we only knew each other}. The cast performs a play while you eat dinner. During the play, someone gets murdered and it's up to the audience to figure out who did it, how they did it and what their motive was. After the play, each table chose a chief investigator who was allowed to search the crime scene. Seth had this job and you can see him looking through everything in the pictures. We all them were told to formulate one question for one of the suspects. Finally we were all moved to another room for a dessert reception where we found out who did it! It was so much fun. It was awesome to get away to spend time together. Time away really strengthens a marriage!

2008 is going to be great!

Wow. God is awesome. His hand is in all aspects of life. Yesterday Seth and I were at the mall and I ran into Jill, my midwife, who has just been an amazing support throughout everything. Seth and I had considered not going back to Armstrong Hospital after everything happened with Mia because of a number of things that didn't go well. One of the biggest problems we had was that Husbands have not been allowed to go back into the room with their wives initially during an ultrasound. This was horrific for us because I found out the Mia had died alone without my greatest support, Seth. We both feel that a husband should be involved in all aspects of a pregnancy and an ultrasound should be no different. I spoke at length to a couple of people about this. Jill has been struggling with this policy and the cooperation of the radiology dept. for quite some time. And it turns out, after my ordeal, that they are going to change the policy so husbands/significant others can be present during ultrasounds. I can't tell you what a victory this is. I can't imagine someone else having to go through the same thing I did.
So, Seth and I are going away this coming weekend and I am so excited. We are going to a resort in West Virginia. And, I am getting a massage baby! I can't wait. We are going to have the greatest time. It will be wonderful to get away and just enjoy one another. I might get a pedicure too. Who even knows?
I have decided that this year is going to be great. I feel like God is working awesome things for Seth and I and that we are going to be blessed for remaining faithful to Him during a very difficult time. We are blessed to have the Lord and He gives us so much more than we deserve.
So, I say this...smile, laugh and embrace life because God gives us a life of abundance in Him!

leave well enough alone

Well, I went to my follow up appointment and was not surprised to find out that they were unable to detect any reason for Mia's death. I combed through all thirty pages of her autopsy looking deperately for an answer. The nurse in me wants to understand the "why". I suppose I need to come to terms with the fact that I will never know exactly what happened to her. I feel like I am just floundering through life, plagued by grief from something I will never understand. I am not depressed, just directionless. I don't know what to do now. I have to sit back and reevaluate my plans. It's like my world has exploded and I am left to gather the fragments. The problem is, all the pieces aren't there. It's like when you try to complete a puzzle just to find out that several of the pieces have been lost. The puzzle just doesn't look right. I suppose in time life will make sense again. The Doctors say that physically I am doing well and that we are safe to try again. We are going to try again and hope that this next pregnancy is going to give us what we have longed for so long. I know that God has something good in store for Seth and I. And, I know that he will help us press on through this time. I am so thankful that we are doing well though. What has happened is devastating, but we have strong desires to go on through this. I am confident that God will give us the continued strength to move forward. The only reason that we are doing as well as we are is because the Lord has sustained us.