Living again

Well, today is Thursday and Saturday will be one month since I gave birth to our beautiful little girl. It seems like the girl who gave birth or was pregnant was someone else. I know it was me, but I feel like it was someone else. It's such a crazy blur. Life has moved on and the world still turns. It's really unbelievable and surreal. I don't cry everyday anymore. Yet, my heart is still broken. I expect that it will take some time to feel normal again. Seth and I are the closest that we have ever been. I think we are closer than when we got married, if that is possible. I love him more than I thought I ever could love anyone. We decided when Mia died, we wanted to do something as a couple to commemorate her and give glory to the Lord. So, we got her footprints tattooed {mine on my lower leg and Seth's on his back calf} with Job 1:21. That verse captures the very essence of what has happened. It says
"Naked I came from my mother's womb and naked shall I return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

This tattoo is something very special that Seth and I can share in Mia's memory. Otherwise, things are going okay. I go back to the Doctor next week and I am hoping that they can shed some light on the reasoning behind this. If not, that's okay too. I know that the Lord has allowed this to happen for a reason and we trust Him. This whole experience has deepened my relationship with the Lord and trust in the Lord. We continue to cling to Him because He is our rock. He is the only thing that can get you through something that hurts so much.