Our angel has taken Flight

On Friday December 28th, my official day to turn seven months pregnant, I woke up in the morning and wasn't feeling the normal amount of fetal activity that I was use to. We went to the Doctor and they sent us to the hospital where they confirmed that our baby had died. I was in the dark ultrasound room and the Radiologist came in to tell me. I has never whaled so loud in my life. They wouldn't let Seth come in with me for the ultrasound so he found out from hearing my crying down the hall. I have never felt such hurt.
Because the baby was actually at the age of viability, they said I had to be induced to deliver. So, I was taken up to labor and delivery with all of the other expectant mothers to deliver my baby. At five am on Saturday the 29th, Mia Jacqueline Linderman was born. She looked perfect. She had ten fingers and ten toes. She had a little bit of hair. They let us hold her and look at her before they took her away.
I have never felt so lost in my whole life. It's like I am just existing. I was laying in bed with my husband last night, crying and asking him when this would stop hurting and he said that it will probably hurt for the rest of our lives. I guess there is nothing that can be compared to the loss of a child. I just don't feel like I know how to start over.
With that being said, I am thankful that our little angel is in heaven in the arms of the Lord. Seth said that he can't imagine how amazing it would be to have the first person you see be the Lord. She is so blessed. I know that the Lord will see us through this time. And while right now, I feel like I can't see past the hurt or even begin to think about tomorrow, there will come a time when we do and when we might even laugh again.
For those of you who have already become aware of this, thank you for your continued prayers. At this time, I really don't feel much like going out or talking to anyone, but you can call the house and Seth will be happy to talk to you. Our God is good and he is here with Seth and I through this. It's the worst thing we have ever gone through, but we will make it.

6 months and bigger by the day

Well, I am 6 months along and every time my husband takes my picture, I can't believe that my stomach has gotton even bigger!

Half way home!

Well I am finally half way there. 20 weeks! I am really enjoying my pregnancy overall. I got on the scale at the doctor's office and I have gained 11 lbs...ugh. It's part of the process though. I hope it comes of quickly after the little one is born. Here is a picture of our little one and of my latest belly shot...wow, you can really see a difference from the last one!

somersault kid!

I have decided what my favorite thing about pregnancy is. I love to feel the baby move. This past week, all of the sudden, I can feel the little one moving all around! It is amazing! I can't wait until I can hold the baby in my arms. It's sometimes hard to fathom that I could have a little person growing inside of me, but when I feel it move, it really seems real! It's so exciting! Seth is going to take my picture tomorrow and I them I can post my belly so you can all see how it is growing. Man, I feel like I am getting bigger every day! WOW! God is so good and I feel so blessed!

18 weeks!

Wow, I gues time has really passed since I have last posted about my pregnancy. Things have been so busy and I have been feeling so good that I guess I haven't had the time. It's amazing how good you feel during the second trimester. Today I had my second ultrasound and it ws so exciting. Seth and I saw two arms, two legs, the heart...everything. It was so neat. I have felt the baby moving a little, but not too much. During the ultrasound, the tech was having hard time even getting the heartbeat because the baby wouldn't hold still. I can't wait until I can feel every move. We had our chance to find out what we are having, but we decided that we want to wait. For a moment, I just wanted to say...TELL ME! But, I held my tongue because my husband is dead set on us being surprised. I guess it will be better that way. Don't get me wrong though, during the entire ultrasound, I was looking for an extra little something. The little thing just wouldn't open up its legs. Maybe that's because it's a lady....hmmmm I don't know! But, the Lord is good and even though we have alot of things to take care of before the little one comes, it's in His hands and every day I am learning to lean on him more!

Light up Night

After my family left from our weekend together and the sun went down, the pumpkins came out and they were spectacular!

Family TIME!

This past weekend was fabulous! My mom, dad, brother and sister in law were able to come and spend an entire weekend with my husband and I at our home. We had so much fun. Here is a little sample of the fun we had on Sunday afternoon when we carved pumpkins. My mom and dad even got me a little pumpkin for the baby! How sweet!

completely thankful

Did you ever have a moment in your life when you are just thankful, plain and simple? Sometimes I think that we {or should I say I} get caught up in the trouble and turmoil of everyday life and lose sight of everything that God is doing. Sometimes life gets so busy that we truly lose the everyday joys. Today I talked to my friend Amy who just found out the AMAZING news that she is pregnant. I can't tell you how thankful I am. Amy and her husband tried for seven years for their first child and it took them seven years and several miscarriages to get pregnant with this one {she is finally out of her first trimester.} She has cried and cried for years for another baby and finally the Lord has given her and her husband this gift. I can't imagine the pain of losing child{ren} to a miscarriage. I can't imagine the pain of trying for seven years to get pregnant. My husband and I tried a year and it felt like ten. She is so brave. And, through all of this, she and her husband stood firm in their faith and trusted the Lord. The Lord is so good and I am so thankful for His answer to prayer!!!!!

13 weeks

Well, I thought that when I found out I was pregnant that I would post every week, but I guess I am realizing that would be alot of posts and well, no one really cares or really even reads this...so why bother? It's okay though because I do this for me, so that I have a record of how I was feeling during my first pregnancy.

So, I am really feeling pretty good these days. I am back to exercising four to five days a week which is nice. The morning nausea/vomitting is a thing of the past! Thank God. I went to the Doctor at the beginning of the month and got to hear the heartbeat with a dopplar which was really exciting.

I started my registry at Target. I was going to do Babies R us, but when I saw the prices, I decided that Target would be the economical choice. So my mom and I went and looked and I was able to hopefully register for all I need. Not like I really know what I need... I am still going to register at Walmart for some things as well. Man, talk about overwhelming.


You know, people amaze me. I can't begin to tell you some of the things that people have said to me since I have been pregnant that I have been like....wow, I can't believe that you just said that. For example:
"I am sure your belly has always been that fat. You are just sticking it out because you are pregnant."
"Your butt is getting bigger."
"Don't mind her, it's just her hormones."
"I hear you are knocked up."
"I gained 88 pounds with my first kid and I still have forty of it and she is fifteen!"
"You wait until your hair falls out!"

I will tell you what, I can not believe that people say the things they do. And by the way, I am not "KNOCKED UP." Knocked up would be a teenager sleeping with a married man or something like that. I am a married woman who is pregnant with her first much wanted child. And furthermore, my butt is not bigger. I can still put on my size 5-6 jeans. They fit my butt. It's my belly they no longer cover. And the hormone comment, I don't even want to go there. I know my hormones are wacky. I can't help that and certainly saying it all the time doesn't make me feel any better. I am not mad about these things that were said because I know that people in general lack sensitivity about how a pregnant woman may feel, but man sometimes I just sigh and wonder how people have the nerve to say the things they do

10.5 and counting

Well, here I am...almost week eleven. I am so excited about beginning my second trimester. I guess that's when you get your energy back and your appetite! woo hoo! I am looking forward to actually "showing". I just look a little chubby now and people don't think I am pregnant just leaning a little heavy on the little debbies. This is such a nervous and exciting time. I have spent hours and hours praying, lifting all my cares to the Lord. Isn't it wonderful that He cares about our every concern? He know all my worries and I have been giving them all to Him every day in prayer. So many things to think about...wow. It's kinda overwhelming. I see babies and just can't wait to hold my own. It doesn't even seem real. So, I have been feeling pretty good these past few days. It seems that I am getting out of the major nausea which is lovely. I am still really moody, but I can't help that much. I just keep telling people I know that I am moody and I appologize. I don't mean to be that way but my mood changes at the flip of a switch. It's nuts. So, otherwise...things are going smoothly, I guess. The Lord is so good. He gives us far more than we deserve!!

plugging along!

So, onward and upward. So far things are going well. I am starting my third month, week nine! This week has been a crazy one. My birthday was Friday, but I had such a miserable day that I didn't even care. I was just an emotional wreck. I had cramps all morning and I was crying, convinced that I was having a miscarriage. Come to find out, week nine is when the uterus really starts to stretch and as long as your cramping is not accompanied with bleeding, you are okay. I wish someone would have told me this stuff. I had myself so worked up. Hormones are a crazy crazy force. Pregnancy is like PMS times a thousand. Otherwise, I am feeling pretty well. I am exhausted which is typical. I only threw up once and have been munching on crackers before getting up which has really done the trick. I still get nauseated but I haven't been vomitting. Praise the Lord. My husband has really been getting a kick out of me. He hears my alarm go off at five am and then a bunch of little munching. He said I sound like a little mouse. I told him I would rather munch and sound like a mouse than throw up!
Seth is really getting excited which is so fun to see. We went to babies R us to browse around last night. It was wild. We need alot of stuff. And, I don't even know all of the stuff we really need! I mean, I know the basics but they have so much out there. It was really overwhelming. We were walking around in there and seeing all of the babies. It makes me so excited. I can't wait until I can hold our baby. So much to think about!
I am so thankful to the Lord for this gift. I feel so undeserving. The Lord is so gracious that He loves us and gives us what we do not deserve. We are so blessed. I can't thank Him enough.

morning sickness here I come!

I thought I might be one of the lucky ones who didn't throw up with her pregnancy. I was nauseated for a few weeks but then this morning the tide turned. I was getting ready for work this morning and all of the sudden I got really hot and sweaty. I went outside to get some air and before I knew it, I was throwing up in the back yard. Lovely.

Still kicking

This last week has been an exciting and nerve racking one. Tuesday we had our first MD appointment. They confirmed that I was pregnant and ordered an ultrasound and some lab work. As I have been nervous about miscarriage, I asked my Doctor about it and she said that once I hear a heartbeat on the ultrasound, the risk of miscarriage drops to about 5%. Well, that made waiting for the ultrasound even harder and even scarier! I scheduled it for Thursday. Seth met me there and they took me in and, A HEARTBEAT!! A STRONG HEARTBEAT! Seth and I cried tears of joy. I am worrying much less now. The lady who did the ultrasound said that everything looked good and that I am eight weeks along and my due date is March 24. Wow! How exciting! I go back to the doctor in one month.

Seth and I traveled to my home town this weekend to share our exciting news with my family. I wanted to tell my mom and dad earlier, but this is so important to them that I wanted to be there in person to see their faces when they heard the news.

I wrapped up my preganany test in a jewelry box and gave it to my mom as a birthday gift with some other things. She opened it up and was completely speechless! She looked up at me in disbelief and said "Are you serious? Is this a joke?" Once it sunk it, she and my dad were overjoyed. We had the video of the ultrasound so they were able to hear the heartbeat too. It was such a special time for us to share together. It's their first grandbaby!

Seth and I are so thankful to the Lord for His blessing us with a baby. I still can't believe that it is for real and probably won't until I hold "her" in my arms. I say "her" because I am convinced it's a girl. Seth of course is convinced it is a boy as is the rest of my family. We are going to be surprised so no one will know until the end of march! I don't know how I am going to be able to wait! I really don't care if it's a girl or boy though. I just want a healthy baby.

change change change

Well....just as I said, Seth and I sold our bikes and our cavalier and traded them in on a larger safer car. It's a Monte Carlo. It's nice and I like it, but getting rid of my bike was so hard! I am really going to miss riding with my husband, parents and brother. It is all worth it though. I need to do everything I can to protect this little baby in my belly.

So, it's been a week since my last post and I know more than ever {not that I was doubting} that I am pregnant. I have never felt so sick in my whole life! Let me tell you, in case you didn't know, I love to eat! I enjoy eating. I love going out to restaurants etc etc etc...well, not now! The thought of food makes me gag. I am nauseated thoughout most of the day. I am completely exhausted. The other night I went to bed at eight! Wow, what a whirlwind of changes. It's good though because so far all of the symptoms I have are normal. I haven't had any severe cramping or bleeding which is a relief. I am counting down the days until my Dr. appointment. It is Tues. I will have a greater idea of exactly where I am and how the baby is doing then. According to what I have read, I am seven weeks along right now. But, we will see for sure on Tues.

I am pretty excited about this coming weekend. We are going to my mom and dad's house up north and will tell them our exciting news. We wanted to tell them in person, and it is even more exciting because my brother, his wife and my grandparents will be there as well! I can't wait! It's so hard not to spill it everytime I talk to my mom. I just have to see the look on her face for myself!

So, keep praying...so far so good. I can't thank the Lord enough for this gift. I was beginning to think we were not going to be able to get pregnant. The Lord is so good!!!

Trading the bike for the bassinet....

Well, it has finally happened! My husband and I are expecting our first baby. It hasn't really sunk in yet and to be completely honest, I am a little nervous about broadcasting the news quite so early. I think I will feel better after the first trimester is over. The thought of something going wrong and me miscarrying is very very frightening, especially it's been over a year since we have been working on starting a family. But, I am trusting the Lord and really working to let Him take care of the situation. So, I thought that I would blog the next eight months about how things are going and exactly how my body is changing. It will be a nice way to memorialize my first pregnancy and maybe get advice from those of you who have done this sort of thing before.

So according to my calculations, I am about 5-6 weeks along. The sperm and ovum should have implated into my uterine lining at about two weeks. I am now in what is referred to as the embryonic period. It's a time of major structural development and growth that continues until two months after conception. So, how am I feeling? Wow...I feel like I am living in someone else's body. I have no clue what is going on with me. My breasts feel like they have doubled in size and could burst at any minute. I feel nauseated most of the day but haven't thrown up yet, thank the Lord. I am exhausted and really have to push myself to get to the gym to workout. My mood is pretty unpredictable. One minute I feel pleasant and the next I could cry. Wow...hormones are crazy!

I would say that I will feel alot easier about the situation once I get to the doctor. My appointment is a little over a week away. It feels like it's an eternity. I just want to go there and have her say that everything is normal and looks good. It's hard when you are pregnant for the first time because you don't know what is normal. I just want to do everything possible to keep Seth's and my baby safe.

So, we haven't told my mom and dad yet. They are going to be so excited, but we want to do it in person rather than over the phone sometime after my appointment. We are working on a clever way to tell them. This will be their first grandchild and let me tell you, they have been after Seth and I to have a baby since we walked down the aisle five years ago! I can't wait to tell them but we really want it to be special.

So one final thing before I post this. I titled this post "Trading the bike for the bassinet." and we are doing just that. Seth and I are trading our bikes in on a car this coming week. I haven't ridden since I found out I was pregnant. I don't feel that it would be fair to place the baby in harm's way like that. So, I will miss my bike. But, the gift of a baby is far far sweeter.

What is yours?

Sometimes I like to make posts about me personally as to what is happenening in my life. However, I was thinking of something that would be funny to find out from all of you. This should hopefully allow for some fun conversation.

What is your biggest pet peeve?

Now, I know many of us have several things that drive us crazy...tailgaters, people in the 12 item line with 20 items and so on....but the thing about this is, you can only give ONE!


I have to say, after much thought, my biggest pet peeve is people who don't take down their Christmas decorations. It so crazy to me to see those long dangling lights hanging off the porch in July. What is even worse is when those lights are beside decorations for the Fourth of July. I have seen lawns with decorations for five or six holidays!

So, there is what drives me crazy. What drives you crazy?

July 12, 2007 Happy Anniversary

Well Seth and I have made it five beautiful years! It is hard to believe just how time flies and just how much God has blessed the first five years of our marriage. I married a wonderful, kind, strong Christian man who believes in me and cares for me. I thank the Lord everyday for him. He is the spiritual leader of our family. Having a good marriage seems to be a rarity in today's age so I am thankful for the blessing that the Lord has given us. So, Happy five year anniversary! I look forward to the next fifty!

July 12 is also a special day because it is my mom and dad's wedding anniversary. We got married on the same day to honor them. So happy 27th anniversary mom and dad! I love you!

CONVICTED!

Something to think about...

Do you ever sit in church on Sunday and breath a sign of relief because you don't feel guilty about the specific issue that the Pastor is speaking about? My husband and I always joke about how nice those Sundays are because you leave Church not feeling like you have some major work to do. For instance, I love when the pastor speaks about tithing because Seth and I do it, so we aren't convicted.
This Sunday was not one of those Sundays. Pastor Mike talked about having a real, deep burning desire for the Lord and how we tend to focus on the small things in life when the Lord wants to give us so much more. He used the example of a little four year old boy who was given a large bowl of diamonds but was hungry and threw the diamonds away for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He didn't see the value in the diamonds and traded them for something far less valuable. We do that in our Christian lives by peppering the Lord with our requests and failing to ask for a burning desire for Him. He also talked about "fox hole conversions" where we only go to the Lord when we have a major need, following our prayer for rescue with empty promises to do something big for the Lord once He helps us out of the mess we are in.
Alot of what Pastor Mike talked about this Sunday is me. I wonder why I often lack joy in life, yet I continually fail to fully and whole heartily seek out the only one who gives joy. I feel sometimes that I am sad because my husband and I have not been able to get pregnant and find myself often on my knees begging the Lord to please please bless us with a baby. In some ways, I have fooled myself into thinking that life will be perfect if I just have a baby. I continually focus on the issue of having a baby and focus less on the God who controls all things and works all things together for my good.
Man, I hate convictions. Today was a real eye opener for me. Chances are, I will feel more fulfilled and satisfied if I pour all of my worries and concerns into growing into a deeper more intimate relationship with the Lord. I think I need to start that by committing that I am going to spend thirty minutes a day with the Lord, no excuses. I get so busy that time runs out and I am tired and yada yada yada......I just need to make the commitment and move forward to growing closer to the Lord. So, wish me luck. Here's to right priorities and joyful living!

a tisket a tasket

Today I went to a "tea". Now before going to Harvest Community Church, I had never heard of a "tea" but what an amazing time! Gayla was kind enough to invite all those ladies who helped plan the Women's retreat at our church to a lovely tea at her home. We ate from china and real silver! It was a fabulous time to get together and fellowship with some of my favorite ladies! We had a chance to discuss next year's retreat and have already thought of a theme! How exciting!I thought it was particularly amusing that I drove my bike to the tea. Should one drive a motorcycle to a tea? Someone in England is going to spit on me for that one! Well, we all thought it was kinda funny so Gayla insisted I have my photo taken on the bike with a dainty little teacup.

had a bad day...

Did you ever have one of those days? I know that tortures a cliche' but man, was today one of those days. To start it was Monday morning {which always takes a measure of grace to get going} and I woke up and got my period. Well, that's really no big deal to most, but when you are trying so desperately to get pregnant, that means another disappointing month and another month of trying. So, that started things off just right. I left my house a 6:05am and it generally takes me 25-30 minutes to get to work, but today since PennDot just embarked on a new fix the road adventure {closing ten miles of road to do one mile of work} , I got to work at 7:15am...late. I got to work to find that I had an enormous workload today because I am covering for a friend while on vacation. So, yeah I spent the day treading water trying to figure out exactly what I need to do for my co-worker while she is off. It all got topped of by getting caught in a rain storm on my motorcycle. So yeah, I was pretty grumpy today. And, I am so glad that Monday is over because Tuesday can only get better. I spent the day seconds away from tears or from eating the face off of everyone that came within three feet of me, but now as I sit in the silence of the evening, it doesn't seem so bad. Everyone has bad days. Thankfully, mine are few and far between. And, thankfully, just because I have a bad day doesn't mean that God loves me any less. And, I think that it helps you to appreciate the good days too. So, here's to having a bad day.So, what am I going to do now? Well, pie and icecream and a warm foot bath with lots of bubbles....that always make things better.....

This is my mom and I with my motorcycle!

Isn't it fabulous?

Mama Motorcycle

Have you ever felt like you were given a reality check? One month ago, I had a major reality check. I was eating dinner at a restaurant in downtown Pittsburgh and my cell phone rang. It was my dad and he called to tell me that my mom was in a car accident. I was horrified and my husband and I got in the car and made the three hour trip home to be with her in the hospital. She had fallen asleep at the wheel on her way home from work and totaled the car. If you could see the car, you would be amazed that anyone survived the wreck. She escaped the crash with a compression fracture of the spine which was surgically repaired one week after the accident. The Lord had His mighty hand on my mom that day. And, even though we were thankful that she was alive and with us, my dad was afraid that he was going to have to sell their motorcycle because she wouldn't be able to ride with her back injury. Well, let me tell you, my mom is an amazing strong woman. She is able to ride and this weekend she and my dad drove down here to the Days of Thunder Motorcycle rally. What a blessing! The Lord not only saved her life but allowed her to continue to ride which she loves so much. Here is the picture of my mom and dad when they arrived at my house on their Harley!

Praise the Lord

Sometimes I have a hard time being thankful. I don't know why, but it seems like society conditions us to be unthankful and dissatisfied with the things that have happened in our lives. Unfortunately sometimes I fall into the rut of comparing myself and my life to others and I get caught having some ridiculous inner dialogue that goes something like this "...well if I had that I would be happy, or If I looked like her I would be satisfied, or why can they have a baby and we can't?" So, I have been working on that. I have been trying to really spend time praising the Lord and just being thankful for all of the blessing that he has graciously given me. I have been reading this book entitled "31 days of Praise" by Ruth Meyers. It's just a little book filled with devotions that just help you to really be thankful and praise the Lord. I wanted to share a little piece of it with you.

"Thank you my gracious and sovereign God, that You have been with me and carried me from the day of my birth until today...that you have known my whole life, from beginning to end, since before I was born...and that you wrote in Your book all of the days that You ordained for me before one of them came to be.

Thank You that in Your gracious plan to bless me and use me, You've allowed me to go through hard times, through trials that many people go through in this fallen world. How Glad I am that You are so good at reaching down and making something beautiful out of even the worst situations!

I praise you that the things that happened in my past, both enjoyable and painful, are raw materials for blessings, both in my life and the lives of others."

These words are a reminder to me that my life is not horizontal. It's not about me and "them". It's not about me feeling like I am somehow short changed on certain issues. My life {and my husband's, of course} is VERTICAL! It's about He and I. He has a plan for Seth and I and even though I don't get His timing or what He is doing, he knows us and our desire to serve Him. So, today I praise the Lord because He has never left me.

The Journey

It has taken me some time to catch on to this "blog" thing. I have never been much for getting online much and I have never been disciplined enough to keep a diary or journal. I remember buying a pretty little leather bound book and vowing to begin to journal regularly so that I could share my past with my kids some day. That lasted about three days each entry shorter than the last and eventually resulted in my house being peppered with pretty little books all with some small blurb about my life. I have always thought that keeping a journal would be a nice way to look back on life, but apparently I do not feel too strongly about it since I can't seem to bring it to fruition! So, anyhow, I am trying to introduce something that if I did journal, I would journal about. My husband and I have been married for five beautiful years. I married young, only 20, but if you knew me you would know that I am not a patient person. I have always been one who is always chomping at the bit waiting for the next big thing to happen in my life. So, when my husband didn't want to have kids right away I was just heartbroken. Of course my emotions were in no facet connected to my common sense. My husband grounds me and helps me to think less with my emotions and a little more with my head. So, in seeing his perspective, I agreed that we should wait until the "right time". Fast forward to last year-finally Seth agreed that we could start trying! I was elated! I pitched the birth control pills and announced to everyone that we were going to start trying to have a baby. I was and still am surrounded by babies and pregnant people. My sister in law has FIVE girls and my other sister in law two girls and two boys. I know that we have never celebrated a holiday together without someone being pregnant in my family. So, they passed down all their maternity clothes to me and the bassinet and all the other things that they thought I could use. All the while my girl friends from church are all getting pregnant and some even for the second and third time. At one point I had NINE friends who were pregnant between church and work. It was nuts. So, yeah we have been trying now for what seems like seven years to a very impatient girl. A couple of months ago I went to my gynecologist and she decided that she wanted to start doing tests on me to see what was going on. She said that since I have endometriosis {a condition where your uterine lining grows outside the uterus in a web like pattern connecting to organs and causing scar tissue and sometimes infertility} getting pregnant could be a challenge. So she scheduled my for a hysterosalpingogram. That is a test where they inject dye into your fallopian tubes to make sure they are not occluded in any way. Let me tell you, that was the absolute most painful thing I have ever experienced in my life. I will spare you the details, but it was bad. So fast forward again to today, still not pregnant. She wants to do an endometrial biopsy now which mean pointy knives down there which I am not crazy about. Between the tests and doing the ovulation kits, it really takes the fun out of trying. It makes it awful. So, how do I feel about everything? It hurts and I am sad. I am at the point where I don't want to do a hundred different tests. I just want to rest and let the Lord have this. I am so impatient and sometimes I feel somehow that the Lord is obligated to give me the desires of my heart. And, that is a big mistake. The Lord doesn't owe me a thing. In fact, I have already been blessed far beyond what I deserve or could ever earn by my own merit. After all, He saved me and has given me ETERNAL life. If He was to never give me another blessing, I would still never be worthy of the gift He has already given me. So, here is what I have to say. Lord, it's yours! I give you my fears and the sadness. I give you my desire to start a family. I don't compare myself to others and justify why I feel that somehow I may be deserving. Instead I give myself wholly to you. After all, it says in Jeremiah 29:11 that you have a plan for me and that it's a plan for good and not for harm, for a hope and future. I believe that and entrust this to you.

The BIG debate

Many of you who read this blog do not know me. Also, many of you who read this blog are different from me too. After all, God made us all different. That being said, everyone out there is welcome to to read my blog, but there is no reason to be judgemental about the things that make us different or the things that I endorse in my life that you may not. When I started this blog I was naive about how nasty people can be. And frankly, I talked with my husband about taking this blog off the net all together. But He is an amazing man and encouraged me to stand firm in who I am and not be ashamed. Even with that being said, it is not necessary to use a blog as a mask to be judgemental and hurtful to others. While I like tattoos and use them as an opportunity to show the world who I am through Christ and what He has done for me, I am not forcing them on any of you. I love all people tattooed or not. It's a non issue. Maybe we should all show a little grace to one another because the Father has shown us all far more grace than we deserve.

WOO HOO TATTOO!

This is Janette and I checking out God's creation!

FRIENDS!

Friends are a true gift from God! I thank God for you Janette!

An insurmountable task!

Janette and I decided that we would go on a little walk on the Ladies Retreat and came upon a mini mount Everest! We made it through not once but twice. The second time we had some company! The ladies from Harvest rock!

Ladies Retreat

This past weekend I attended a ladies retreat. I have to tell you that if you have never attended a retreat that I highly recommend it! It was so wonderful and amazing to see the Lord at work in women's lives. It's amazing how He speaks when we take time to listen. This weekend has taught me to be thankful for the grace that the Lord has poured over my life. I have also had an opportunity to meet new women and start new friendships. The Lord is so good.

check out the site of my tattoo guy...His name is JP
The shop he works at is awesome. It's the cleanest, neatest tattoo place I have ever seen and he does great work....www.needlesoffury.net

I want to share something with you that Seth, my husband, and I are taking part in. We are currently part of a bible study written by Dave Ramsey entitled "Financial Peace university" It's an awesome study that teaches how to manage your money in a way that's pleasing to God and beneficial for you and your future. Seth and I are loving it and we are on our way to being debt free which is a major goal and component of the series. Finances are a major stressor to most families in America. Did you know that the average American household carries $8000 in credit card debt???? It's crazy! I encourage you to check this study out and have financial peace! check it out at www.daveramsey.com

This chick has ALOT of tattoos! Wow! Sometimes people think that tattoos are a reflection of who you are on the inside, in a negative way. I encourage you to look on the inside because you would see that I am a...

"WIDE EYED SANCTIFIED BLOOD BOUGHT SPIRIT TAUGHT BIBLE TOTIN' SCRIPTURE QUOTIN SATAN BASHIN', SIN TRASHIN, BIG TIME BELIEVER AND PROUD OF IT!" I heard that somewhere once and I love it! Seriously though, it's important to be who you are and stand by your beliefs. That is alot of the reason why I love tattoos so much. They are a way for me to express to the world who I am through Christ.

Seth and I at Rainbow Falls in Gatlinburg, Tennessee

Here is a picture of my little baby...Dawson

Notice to the left, there is a corner that the not so cute Dawson chewed.....he's bad but he's cute!

little ditty about me

Well...here is a little bit about me
My name is Amanda. I am a 25 year old married girl who is in love with Jesus and my husband. I have been married for five years. I am a woundcare nurse. I love to sing and my husband and I have motorcycles that we love to ride. I LOVE tattoos. I have a bunch of them and so does my husband. All of my tattoos represent who I am as a Christian. We don't have any children, but have been trying to start a family for about a year. It's frustrating, but I am trusting the Lord through it all because I know that our lives are in His hands.